Now that it’s clear to all what a terrible shame LEGO Universe has turned out to be, I bring you, the public, a rare glimpse into the bizarre and idiotic five year development cycle of the game in which I played the role of the Duke of Doubt.

5. “An advertising campaign. It must. It must be something…[Silence]” - 2008

4. “We want the kids to feel the sexiness of this interface.” - 2007

3. “The words ‘paid beta’ should never be spoken of again outside this room.” - 2006

2. “Shouldn’t we be testing this on children who don’t use computers?” -2006

1. “Gabe, I don’t want to hear anymore from you about the flawed game mechanics.”  - 2010

There’s a novel in this someplace. Something like a YA version of Jpod and Reamde.

Super Bonus Quote: “You do realize that the logo looks like a toilet seat, right?”